


In A Heartbeat

by nephilim67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: After Purgatory, Angry Dean, Angst, Death Wish, Established Relationship, M/M, Sometime during season 8, Top Dean, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 09:00:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1738892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nephilim67/pseuds/nephilim67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean gets hurt in a battle with some vampires. Sam tries to heal him and when Dean wakes up they get into an argument. Sam asks if Dean has a death wish and Dean tells Sam he replaced him with Amelia when Dean went to Purgatory for a year. Sam finally gives up the argument and Dean's heart breaks. Dean gives in and kisses Sam. He asks what Sam thought about for that year when he touched himself. Dean takes Sam for the first time in a year. Sam is happy just to have his brother and his lover back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In A Heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> Don't own the characters :( I didn't have anyone to beta it for me so any mistakes are mine. Sorry if they're bad. I tried to find them all. Enjoy. :)

Sam didn't sleep all night. He was up watching Dean. He was afraid he had internal bleeding or a concussion. Dean insisted that he didn't. He bitterly told Sam he was going to sleep. Concussion or not. So Sam didn't sleep. He felt for his pulse. His heart beat was weak and thready. 

Sam was the lucky one. He’d gotten out of that vampire’s nest with just a few scratches and bruises. But they drained Dean. Besides that, they'd beaten the hell out of him.   
Sam looked at his sleeping brother. He looked so peaceful. But he knew he was far from at peace. Sam had missed him so much. He felt like someone had ripped his chest open and pulled out his heart. He could feel it slowly stop beating as Dean and Cas fell to Purgatory. The pain was too much for Sam to bear. 

He had wanted to look for Dean at first. But the hole in his heart hurt too much. And he had no idea where to start. Then he met Amelia. Amelia was far from Dean. But she was a distraction. His heart stopped the day Dean’s number showed up on his phone. His breathing stopped. He almost choked on his drink. His whole body felt numb when he saw Dean for the first time in a year. But a dark cloud lingered over the both of them.

Sam had tried to talk to Dean about what had happened. But all Dean ever said was that Sam replaced him. He'd been distant. Quiet. Only talking to Sam the bare minimum. Sam put up with it, hoping Dean would forgive him. 

The bruise on Dean’s eye was starting to turn a bright shade of blue and purple. Sam couldn't get a hold of Cas, so Sam was forced to heal Dean as best he could. He was gentle, but Dean didn't say one word to him. 

Something else had been bothering Sam. It had been over a year since Dean had gotten out of Purgatory. Sam figured that time there would have made him a sharper hunter. Afraid he’d be even more cruel of a fighter. Instead, it was just the opposite. He was offering himself up as bait every time. He wasn't fighting back. 

Sam knew he was still mad at him for not looking for him or after Kevin, but was that really why he was doing this? Was he trying to teach Sam a lesson? Trying to get some kind of revenge?

Dean stirred awake. Barely conscious. Sam rushed over to him, adrenaline pumping, heart racing. 

"Hey sleeping beauty. Here. Pain killers, water, and iron pills. Drink."

Dean’s eyebrows rose. "An iron pill?" Dean asked, wincing as he tried to sit up. 

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You lost a lot of blood last night. Not just from what they drained from you, but the beating you took too. You look like you went 10 rounds with Ali. The iron pill will help you with the lost blood," Sam said, said feeling for his pulse again. Stronger.

Dean swallowed the pills. And sat all the way up. He knew Sam wasn't about to let him go anywhere but he really needed some air and to be away from Sam. 

"I'm gonna go grab something from the car."

"No you're not. I can go and get it," Sam said. 

"Jesus, Sam. I'm not dead, just sore. Christ. I'm capable of getting up," Dean said, just wanting out. 

That's when it hit Sam like a truck. He _wanted_ out. He wanted to be away from Sam. He still hated him for not looking for him. For replacing him. That wound about how Sam didn't go looking for him was still burning. Sam geared up. He couldn't play this game with Dean anymore. It was too dangerous for the both of them. He was going to fight one more time. If Dean wasn't willing to listen, Sam would never bring it up again. Sam felt his heart flutter in his chest. 

"Dean. Look. I'm sorry I didn't look for..."

"Dude. Don't even start. I'm not having this conversation now," Dean said angrily. 

"Then have this one. What is your problem on these hunts lately, huh? You're offering yourself up as bait. You're letting yourself get beat to hell and back. I thought, if anything, you'd have come out of Purgatory more cruel not less," Sam said. 

Dean was sitting with his arms across his chest. Sam was right. But he was just too tired to take this on anymore. He'd had to kill people, things, he'd already killed all over again. And he was tired. 

"Do you remember one of our first cases? A wendigo? And the rakshasha? The clown that freaked you? Do you remember that town full of demons when the Croatoan virus hit? Or the daeva? How bout that vanir we killed?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, some more vaguely than others but I remember them," Sam said. 

"Yeah, well, I got to kill them all a second time. Every 'thing' we killed up here got sent to Purgatory. And because you decided to not look for me, and go fuck some girl, I spent a year killing things I'd already killed years ago. I spent a year in a prison where most of the things that were down there, were there because of me. I'm fucking tired, Sam. That's why I don't care anymore. I'm tired," Dean said looking at his hands. His ears were thumping. 

Sam threw his head back and looked at the ceiling. “So you have a death wish?” 

"You know what? Let's have that conversation. Not that there's much to it. You didn't look for me. You spent a year with a girl. And I spent a year killing things we already killed. Conversation over." Dean said with such venom in his voice it made Sam's breath catch. 

“It-It’s not that simple, Dean. Jesus Christ. Amelia was a distraction from the insane amount of pain I was in. My heart hurt. I could barely move for three days after you fell into that pit. You left a hole in my heart when you disappeared. I felt like I lost everything. And I did. I lost my brother and my lover. I lost my way when you fell,” Sam said. 

“And most people would have gone looking for the person they loved the most. At least for a little while. Instead you replaced me. You just left me. I expected you to find me. Not leave me to rot for a year,” Dean spat back. 

It was the “you replaced me” that always hit Sam right in the gut. He could feel the burn of tears in his eyes.

“Amelia could never ever replace you. I just needed to fill that hole. I needed to try and take the pain away. I loved you too much. And I felt too much pain to do anything. I’m sorry, Dean. I-I’m sorry,” Sam said, hot tears falling down his face. He couldn't take this anymore. That was his last shot. Now he would just take whatever relationship Dean was willing to have with him.

Dean didn't want to give in. He tried so hard to hold his resolve. To be pissed at Sam for ditching him. But when Sam hung his head in shame, when the tears fell, when Dean realized that Sam was giving up, Dean’s heart cracked in two. 

Dean remembered that same hole in his chest. The same pain. The need for a distraction, anything, to get his mind off of Sam falling into Hell with Lucifer and Michael. He remembered trying so hard to use Lisa to help. But he drank. He had nightmares. Dean was surprised Sam hadn't used that as an argument. 

He blinked at the top of Sam’s head. He still wanted to be mad. But, this was Sam. His little brother. The two of them had loved each other since they were kids. A natural, easy love even though most people would say it was unnatural. It was always who they were. Even when they were apart. Sam and Dean. 

Dean slowly got down on his knees, wincing, in the space between the two beds. Tears still falling silently down to the floor. Dean lifted Sam’s head just enough. He kissed him sweetly, gently. Dean held Sam’s head in his hands and wiped away the tears with his thumbs. 

Sam’s bloodshot eyes met Dean’s dark green emerald eyes. The kiss lit Sam on fire. He’d been waiting for the longest time for Dean to finally forgive him. To come back to him. To love him again. 

With his heart in his throat and a pounding in his ears, Sam grabbed Dean’s head and kissed him hard. Dean started running his hands through Sam’s hair. Tugging on it every so often and catching the soft moans that came from Sam. 

They found their rhythm easily. As if Dean had never left. Left to right. Tongues dancing around each other. Each brother catching the other’s moans. Sam kept hold of Dean’s head like if he let it go, Dean would disappear.

They both stood up, not breaking their kisses, and Sam pulled off Dean’s shirt. Dean pulled off Sam’s. They pushed against each. Hands feeling each other as if they’d never been together before. 

Sam wanted to know what just happened. Why Dean had started kissing him. Why he was about to fuck Sam into tomorrow. But Sam wasn't about to break their stride and ask. That could wait. He needed this. He needed Dean.

Dean pushed Sam backwards onto his bed and pounced on top of him, straddling Sam’s waist, kissing him and then following down his jaw and chest. Dean could feel the hum of Sam’s moans while he was kissing down his neck. He smiled. 

Sam bucked up and flipped Dean over. Dean was still a little pissed at Sam and he wasn't about to give Sam the upper hand. He let him kiss him down his neck and nibble at his ears, which sent shockwaves through Dean and made his cock twitch. It was the first time he realized how hard he was. It was almost painful, constricted in his jeans.

He wrapped one leg around Sam and flipped him back onto the bottom. Dean straddled him, rubbing his erection against Sam’s and hearing Sam groan. 

“Don’t think you’re off the hook, baby brother. You are mine tonight. And you’ll never forget it,” Dean said with a hint of evil in his voice. 

Dean left little bites and kisses down Sam’s throat and across his adam’s apple. Dean moved slowly down Sam’s chest, savoring him. A year in Purgatory without Sam was torturous. 

Then Dean had an idea. 

"Sammy. Did you ever touch yourself and think of me in that year?" 

"Yes..." Sam moaned out as Dean kissed his neck again. He wondered where this was going.

"What did you think of?" Dean asked sitting up and looking at Sam. 

"You...kissing me..."

Dean bent down and kissed Sam. Sam moaned against him, cock twitching. 

"What else?" Dean asked, breaking the kiss for a moment. 

"You kissing my chest."

Dean moved to Sam's neck and chest kissing his way down.

"Like that?"

"God yes, De."

"Then what, Sammy?"

Sam's mind was lost in a fog. "Um...feeling your mouth around me." 

Sam raised his hips to move his cock against Dean's hip. Dean smiled. He pulled Sam's boxers off him in one swift motion. He licked Sam's tip which was already leaking. He blew on Sam and Sam groaned loudly with pleasure. Dean could feel the shiver run through him. 

"Jesus fuck Dean."

Dean licked up Sam from hilt to tip. He swirled his tongue around the tip, and sucked on it, swallowing the bead of precome. Then Dean took Sam all the way down, hollowing his cheeks and bobbing his head up and down. He moved faster and faster. He could feel Sam gripping his shoulders tighter. He didn't want Sam to come just yet. He pulled off of him with a small 'pop'.

"Ohhh...dammit Dean."

"Not going to be that easy, little brother," Dean said smiling. He reached across Sam and grabbed the bottle of lube in his duffel.

"So what came next, Sammy?" Dean asked.

"You. Opening me up," was all Sam could manage. He lost his brain when Dean started sucking on him. 

"Okay, Sammy. Suck," Dean said, sticking two fingers in Sam's mouth.

Sam started to suck. Dean was working on getting out of his jeans one handed. He pulled his jeans and underwear off of him. He laid back on top of Sam. Sam felt Dean rubbing into his hip and it made him cry out. He needed Dean so bad. 

Dean pulled his fingers out of Sam's mouth and ran them along Sam's hole. Sam bucked his hips up. Dean pushed one finger inside Sam. Slowly. 

"Jesus Dean. Please..."

"Hmm?"

"Please...I need you. I need your cock. I need to feel you inside me."

"Is that what comes next?"

"Yes...hurry," Sam said rushed and panting hard. He needed Dean. He thought his heart would beat right out of his chest.

Dean had slid another finger in and was scissoring Sam open. He knew it wasn't going to be enough to open Sam all the way but his moaning and pleading pushed Dean into overdrive. 

Sam heard the click of the lube bottle. He felt the cool lube hit him and then he felt the warmth from Dean's dick.

Dean pushed forward and went into Sam in one quick movement. Sam yelped. 

"Sorry..." Dean said.

Sam shook his head ‘no’. "Fuck me Dean."

Surprised that Sam was ready to go already, Dean started to pump in and out of him. Sam was an extremely tight heat around Dean. Dean missed this. Missed Sam like this. He moaned Sam's name. His breathing quickened. This wasn't going to take Dean long. 

Sam was feeling the stretch from Dean. It burned but it felt so good. He felt Dean wrap his hand around his cock and start stroking him. This wasn't going to take Sam long. 

Dean bent down to kiss Sam. Sam moaned into his mouth. Dean twisted Sam on the upstroke. Sam bucked his hips and Dean hit his prostate. 

Sam yelped again. Dean rolled his hips hitting that same spot again. Dean could feel Sam pulsing around him. Dean was losing control. 

"Sammy..." Dean moaned.

"Dean I'm gonna..."

"Ohhh Sammy...please..."

Sam came followed immediately by Dean, whose hips had started to stutter. Both were crying out the other's name. 

Dean dropped onto Sam's chest. Feeling the rise and fall as Sam tried to catch his breath. He listened to the quick pace of his heart. Sam wrapped his arms around his brother. 

They stayed like that until they were breathing normal. Dean rolled off Sam and turned toward him. Sam rolled onto his side. 

Dean's eyes were half lidded. He had a small smile on his face. 

"You were going to give up, weren't you?" Dean asked.

Sam tilted his head. He didn't understand.

"What do you mean?" He asked Dean.

"You were going to stop asking me to talk to you about what happened. You were going to stop fighting for our relationship."

Sam blushed a bright shade of red. His heart fluttered again. "I couldn't take the fighting anymore. I was willing to take whatever you would give me."

Dean leaned forward and gave Sam a very sweet, genuine kiss. "Will you take this?"

"In a heartbeat."


End file.
